Gifted? Yeah, right.

First, let me start by saying this: I grew up in one of the most well-adjusted, wonderful, amazingly warm, loving homes imaginable. My parents, while also flawed individuals, were and still are a huge inspiration to me. They're fantastic individuals, wonderful as a couple, and absolutely some of the very best people you could ever hope to meet. My brother is also a fabulous addition to the world, and I do not place any 'blame' or 'responsibility' upon my family life for my own hiccups as a blossoming individual. That said:

I think we all start out in pieces. Like legos, maybe. We are little blocks full of promise and hope, little tidbits of awesome that can be joined into something spectacular or serve as caltrops on the floor if left unattended for too long. But still colorful and fun and almost infinite.

One of my legos consisted of a big brain. I was talking to someone the other day about how growing up 'gifted' really seemed to be a detriment, because I was always thinking-thinking-thinking and didn't really understand what the hell I was thinking about. I remember distinct moments in my early years where I was just like WHAT THE CRAP AM I DOING HERE. I remember feeling utterly out of place, being ostracized by kids, having a particularly rough time in Catholic school to the point I would go home crying every day and my mom (being the wonderful person she is) was always trying to help me work through it and overcome, and likely getting frustrated as I made little to no progress.

I didn't really overcome. I did learn to manage my discomfort, though. I learned to 'ignore' the people who were mean to me, I learned to find solace in my own space. My brother was always super outgoing and comfortable wherever he was, but I was always quiet and reserved and shy. I never really reached out. Any super close friends I made, I made by accident because we were forced together. Had I not had those happenstance moments, I probably would have made my way through my adolescence solo beyond the people who had to love me.

Yeah, it sucked being 'gifted'. It really wasn't much of a gift at all, then.